Encouraging Cooperation: Raising a Child who Works Well with Others and Gives without Expectation

By: Dr. Pratiksha Rigley
Franchise Owner, Primrose Schools of Frisco West, Park Cities, Plano at Preston Meadow, Prestonwood, and Klyde Warren Park (Opening Spring 2020)

Cooperation is a basic life skill that allows children to make friends and work successfully with others. The definition of cooperation is simple enough – combining energies to work towards a common goal. But teaching it can be a challenge as it requires a combination of character attributes, such as respect, honesty, patience and thoughtfulness. Every parent wants their child to exhibit these skills, but they are tricky lessons to teach since young children are naturally focused on themselves. The good news is that cooperation can be learned over time through purposeful activities and frequent encouragement from parents and caregivers.  

We know that children learn character mainly through imitation. They listen, observe and learn cooperation skills by watching the words and actions of their caregivers and parents. When your child sees you working happily with others, he will sense the joy you feel and want to experience that joy, too. By practicing cooperative skills in front of your child, you are teaching behaviors that will ultimately help your child succeed. Here are some ways you can model cooperation:

• Listen carefully to others so that you can understand what they are saying.
• Share or take turns when more than one person wants the same thing. Start at home with
• family conversations that allow everyone time to talk.
• Compromise when you have a serious conflict.
• Do your part of a shared task and do the very best that you can. When you complete your task, ask others how you might help them complete their work.
• Show appreciation for what people contribute to a group or team.
• Encourage others to do their best.
• Include everyone and make everyone feel needed. Help your child recognize that everybody has something valuable to offer in a group. 

In addition to serving as a role model, it’s important to be intentional about teaching cooperation to your child. Use the following every-day activities as opportunities to encourage your child to cooperate with family and friends:

• When you read a story with your child, point out times when the characters cooperate with each other. Discuss how the characters feel and how much easier it is to accomplish the task when they work together.
• Schedule household chores at times when all family members can work together to finish them. Praise your child for her attempts to help, and refrain from redoing the chore when she’s finished. Help her see the fun of working together to accomplish a goal. Talk about how much faster the chores were completed than if mom or dad had to do it alone. Point out how cooperation with chores allows for more time for family fun.
• "Catch" your child sharing or helping someone and show your appreciation. Encourage the behavior but refrain from giving material rewards; they are not necessary. Children should learn the joy of helping others without expecting something in return.

By taking advantage of these moments and creating learning opportunities for your child, you will help him understand the importance of cooperation. Working together becomes fun for children as they develop an understanding of the skills and techniques needed to achieve a common goal. The holiday season is especially great for really honing these skills!

The students at our schools get first-hand experience cooperating each year around the holidays, as each of our schools comes together to donate gifts to local charities. This year, each of our schools’ Angel Trees were for a different local organization, with Prestonwood and Park Cities collecting items for Big Brothers Big Sisters Dallas and Toys for Tots, Preston Meadow collecting items for CHETNA in Plano, and Frisco West collecting items for City House in Plano.

Here’s how it works: Our parents take an angel off the tree at our school, and each angel has a child’s name, age and gift request or clothing size. Our students are very excited to purchase things for their angel child, and they especially love bringing their item to school and putting it under our Angel Tree. This teaches our students to give back without expectation. This year we donated over 350 gifts and $1600 in gift cards to these organizations, thanks to the cooperation and generosity of our families.

To learn about the Rigley Primrose Schools, follow us on Instagram @RigleyPrimroseDreamTeam

For more parenting tips, visit our 360 Parenting blog at www.PrimroseSchools.com/360Parenting.